God help me.
I don't know what it is, but I feel like a failure, a social outcast, and socially awkward. It feels so uncomfortable.. I just want out. It really feels like I have nowhere to turn, no way to escape it. It's so heavy on me right now. I know it'll fade tomorrow.. but it's just so uncomfortable. God help me.
A new opportunity awaits in the wings, hide me from failure, deliver me from discomfort. Anything but feeling like this. A slave to my own fear, a hostage to my comfort zone, it's impossible to break loose. Forget thinking straight, or interacting, or being normal for today and the hours leading up to the task. My mind, body, and soul are dedicated to this one minimalistic event in my life, yet I can't provide a detour of relief. There are a couple hours left to go.
ps. I'd love to let you know of this handicap.
give it a chance.
Party in A-town with boyfriend and friends.. he's not met. Be with me, please.
Breathe life into my bones.
I read in my horoscope a few days ago, that things will come and go and that the best way to release the tensions was to write. So here it goes..
It's been around two weeks we've been a couple, and I've not for a second felt anything but happiness and comfort. I can be me around you, we make each other laugh - but as of right now, 12:23am - just coming in from a night out with you and your friends, my new friends. And I feel afraid and uneasy. Whether it's a quirk of the illness or something deeper, I feel it vividly. The incredible discomfort involved with breaking up haunts my thoughts,...