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Mandi
| Main blog: | Defiled | | Birthday: | October | | Gender: | Female | | Occupation: | Student | | Education: | Some college | | Location: | United States |
| Body Size: | Slender | | Height: | 5' 4" (163 cm) | | Eyes: | Brown | | Vision: | Contact lenses | | Hair Color: | Black | | Hair Style: | Curly - Short | | Best Feature: | Eyes | | Undies: | Free Willy | | Piercing Info: | one hole in each ear |
| Relationship Status: | Single - Involved | | Sexual Preference: | Straight but curious | | Existing as: | Angel- one wing | | Smoking: | No Way | | Liquor: | Non-alcoholic beverages only | | Exercise: | Occasionally | | Your Home: | Live at the dorm |
| Music Genres: | Contemporary Christian, Soft Rock, Oldies | | Bands/Artists: | Rachael Lampa, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Cece Winans | | Songs: | Blessed by Rachael Lampa | | Movies: | the Incredibles, Gladiator, the Matrix, the Lion King | | Sports: | soccer | | Colors: | Black, Cerulean, Periwinkle | | Pets/Animals: | Dogs, Fish | | Cars/Motorcyles: | Ford Mustang, Lincoln Aviator | | Season: | Late Spring, Early Fall | | Food: | Pizza, chicken, Fries, Chicken nuggets with McDonald's Sweet n Sour Sauce | | Drink: | Raspberry Lemonade | | Quotes: | "Don't panic."
It's the first helpful or intelligible thing
anybody's said to me all day.
-Douglas Adams- |
Love is Strange
I can't explain why, but when I think about how he cheated on me and the way he treated me when I found out I wanna commit suicide. I think about dying. Hanging myself. It hurts so bad and I feel so terrible and worthless. I'm not sure how and why my self worth got tangled up in him and how he treated me. Somehow he got a hold of all that was left of me and I thought he was the one. I gave him my heart and soul. Things aren't the same but I don't have the pieces of me I once possessed. It's gone and there's nothing left. He threw it away and I can't find it.
God, I just wanna come back...
argh
Have you ever felt so angry and frustrated you just wanted to hang yourself? I dunno maybe the fact that I'm depressed is what causes those feelings. All I know is the thought of tying something around my neck and hanging keeps playing through my mind and it seems like it would be such a relief.
Josh frustrates me. I don't even know why I'm with him again.
Change is Around the Corner...
I can't read the poem anymore. I skim over it knowing what it holds. My past rolled up into 45 lines...it makes me sick. When I first wrote it I loved it. It was my way out. A great relief to be able to eject part of the pain. I hadn't written poetry in a while. I felt it was absolutely beautiful. Words that told everything in my favorite form of expression. Something I could share with others or hold for myself. It was any easier way to let people know what happened. Just bring out the poem and they start to understand. But I can't read it anymore. I don't want to relive "The Memories." The...
Cry On My Shoulder
You say you're falling apart
Reached the end of the line
Just looking for your place in an ordinary life
No one calls you friend
No one even knows your name
You just want to feel loved instead of all the pain
You no longer have to say
No one's listening anyway
Come here and cry on my shoulder
I'll hold you 'till it's over
I'll rescue you tonight
Let my arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I'll love you more than life
You're wearing a frown
Given up on hope
My heart is reaching out
More than you will ever know
Is your burden too much?
Is it more than you can bear?
I'll help...
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