Mandi
General Information

Main blog:Defiled
Birthday:October
Gender:Female
Occupation:Student
Education:Some college
Location:United States


Appearance

Body Size:Slender
Height:5' 4" (163 cm)
Eyes:Brown
Vision:Contact lenses
Hair Color:Black
Hair Style:Curly - Short
Best Feature:Eyes
Undies:Free Willy
Piercing Info:one hole in each ear


Personal Information

Relationship Status:Single - Involved
Sexual Preference:Straight but curious
Existing as:Angel- one wing
Smoking:No Way
Liquor:Non-alcoholic beverages only
Exercise:Occasionally
Your Home:Live at the dorm


Personal Favorites



Four Most Recent Entries

Love is Strange
I can't explain why, but when I think about how he cheated on me and the way he treated me when I found out I wanna commit suicide. I think about dying. Hanging myself. It hurts so bad and I feel so terrible and worthless. I'm not sure how and why my self worth got tangled up in him and how he treated me. Somehow he got a hold of all that was left of me and I thought he was the one. I gave him my heart and soul. Things aren't the same but I don't have the pieces of me I once possessed. It's gone and there's nothing left. He threw it away and I can't find it. God, I just wanna come back...
 
argh
Have you ever felt so angry and frustrated you just wanted to hang yourself? I dunno maybe the fact that I'm depressed is what causes those feelings. All I know is the thought of tying something around my neck and hanging keeps playing through my mind and it seems like it would be such a relief. Josh frustrates me. I don't even know why I'm with him again.
 
Change is Around the Corner...
I can't read the poem anymore. I skim over it knowing what it holds. My past rolled up into 45 lines...it makes me sick. When I first wrote it I loved it. It was my way out. A great relief to be able to eject part of the pain. I hadn't written poetry in a while. I felt it was absolutely beautiful. Words that told everything in my favorite form of expression. Something I could share with others or hold for myself. It was any easier way to let people know what happened. Just bring out the poem and they start to understand. But I can't read it anymore. I don't want to relive "The Memories." The...
 
Cry On My Shoulder
You say you're falling apart Reached the end of the line Just looking for your place in an ordinary life No one calls you friend No one even knows your name You just want to feel loved instead of all the pain You no longer have to say No one's listening anyway Come here and cry on my shoulder I'll hold you 'till it's over I'll rescue you tonight Let my arms be your shelter Your hiding place forever I'll love you more than life You're wearing a frown Given up on hope My heart is reaching out More than you will ever know Is your burden too much? Is it more than you can bear? I'll help...
 






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