|Main blog:||Elementally Evil|
|Occupation:||Political / Govt / Military|
|Country:||Alyredia, a small volcanic island in the south pacific.|
|Religion:||Me-ism. Call it what you will.|
|Body Size:||Ridiculously Large|
|Height:||7' 0" (213 cm)|
|Hair Color:||Sandy Blonde|
|Hair Style:||Wavy - Short|
|Facial Hair:||Mustache - Short|
|Tattoo Info:||The entire Necronomicon has been tattooed on my back. There's also a small, blue rabbit on my calf.|
|Piercing Info:||When piercing a blade or spear through a victim, make sure to throw your entire arm behind the thrust to avoid embarrassing complications.|
|Vision:||Twin-beam laser death-raybans.|
|Astrological Sign:||Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 21)|
|Liquor:||Social drinker. One or two|
|Biography/About:||Conceptualized millennia ago and brought into being by humanity's driving need to have an alternative to good, Alyred entered the universe without form or direction. Slowly learning from humanity's cruelty, greed, and sinfulness, he gained sentience almost 7,000 years ago and has since then been interfering with the progress and growth of all life on earth. Re-making his image in mortal form to allow for greater trickery, Alyred now spends his days formulating twisted, machiavellian plots to overthrow the world, destroy progress and wipe out the Spanish. Equipped with a time-travel device, an army of mind-controlled zombie ninjas, and an arsenal of some of the deadliest death-ray weaponry (and microwave burritos), Alyred strikes fear into the heart of even the staunchest defender of justice.|
|Likes:||Sulfphur. Brimstone. Trickery, Deceit, and steak sauce. Things cooked Medium-well. The mortal delicacy known as... Pizza.|
|Dislikes:||Humans. Politicians. Incorrect spelling and poor grammar (typos are acceptable - Let's face it, noone's perfect aside from me). Green Peppers. Emo bullshit. Play-pagans. Chain-smokers. Attention whores. Stupidity.|
|Interests:||World Domination, Giant robots, Death-rays, Lava, Torture devices, Implements of destruction, Atomic-powered exoskeletons, Poisons, Genetics, Chemisty, Nuclear Chemistry, Quantum Mechanics, Anything High-tech, The Occult, Metaphysics, |
|Your Home:||Live with henchmen on volcanic island.|
|People/Heroes:||Grendel, Goldfinger, Baron Von Underbheit, Dr. Evil, Sun Tzu, Ash, Dr. Moriarty, The Fin (Mr. Smartypants), Chairface Chippendale, El Seed, Thrakazog, The Terror, Man-eating Cow, Megatron, Lucius Malfoy, The Dread Pirate Roberts, Jack Sparrow, SID 6.7, Dr. Claw, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Magneto, Mr. Sinister, Darth Vader, Vlad Tepes|
|Books:||Brainwashing made easy, Evil Geniuses in a Nutshell, Dhampir, The book of Mormon, With a Single Spell, Night of Madness, Forever War, The Name of The Wind, The Bible, The Golden Dawn handbook to Quabbalistic ritual volume 7, Night Angel trilogy|
|Authors:||Patrick Rothfuss, Brent Weeks, Lawrence Watt-Evans, David Brin, Barb and J.C. Hendee, Kim Harrison, Robert Heinlein, Joe Haldeman, Orson Scott Card, Isaac Asimov, Leo Tolstoy, |
|Music Genres:||Dark Ambience, Industrial, Techno, Punk, Grunge, Rock, Jazz, Classical|
|Bands/Artists:||KMFDM, Collide, Garbage, Angels of Venice, Midnight Syndicate, Type O Negative, Fear Factory, Evanescence, WYLD STALLIONS, Alice Cooper, Scorpions, Great White, Ozzy Osbourne, Offspring, Extreme, Firehouse, Roxette, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Stone Temple Pilots, Tapping the Vein, Garbage, Flogging Molly, Godsmack, Sevendust, Guns n' Roses, Rammstein, Chemical Brothers, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Juno Reactor, Steve Vai, Stevie Ray Vaughn, |
|Albums/CDs:||Vampyre (Midnight Syndicate)|
|TV Shows:||The Venture Brothers, Robot Chicken, Family Guy, Justice League, That 70's show, Good Eats|
|Movies:||The Incredibles, The Last Starfighter, X-Men, Rustler's Rhapsody, xXx, Sin City|
|Actors:||Alfred Molina, Patrick Warburton, Patrick Stewart, Willem Dafoe, Kenneth Branaugh, Brent Spiner, Maggie Smith, Sir Alec Guinness, Steven Chow, Liam Neeson, |
|Games:||Shadowrun, Unreal Tournament 2004, Neverwinter Nights, Tribes, Command and Conquer, Empire Earth, Battlefield 2|
|Sports:||Hunting (humans), Wargames, War, Rugby (it's almost as brutal), Unreal Tournament, Crushing rebellions, Crushing insubordinate subordinates, Overthrowing worlds, Inventing super-machines, Battlefield 2|
|Colors:||Red, Blue, Black|
|Pets/Animals:||Hellhounds, Hellbeasts, Hellchickens (delicious deep-fried!), Weregerbils, Animated corpses, Carnivorous plants|
|Cars/Motorcyles:||The EvilCoupe, a modified sports car with the power to travel through time and fly, M1-A1 Abrahms Tanks, Amphibious assault vehicles, The EvilCycle, a modified Yamaha with defensive systems, Chariots of Doom|
|Food:||Pizza, Vanilla, Butterscotch, Italian, Japanese, Sushi, Greek, Thai|
|Drink:||Diet Vanilla Pepsi, Essence of Soul, Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, Rockstar, Red Bull, Monster Energy|
|Quotes:||"The Body is but a coffin for the soul.", "You have failed me for the last time, Admiral.", "There are no stupid questions, only stupid people."|
|Position:||Supreme Overlord for Life|
|Arch-Nemeses:||Superman; Batman; Saladin; The Tick; Brock Samson; Ash|
Oompa, Loompa, Doomity-doo...|
Shoo! Out! Damnit, I'd have it sprayed around here if there was anything strong enough to kill off those damned Oompa-loompas, but the only effect the best stuff on the market generally has is making the place smell vaguely of lilac carpet powder that's been used to cover up the stench of wet sick in a nursing home.
Where was I? Oh yes. Today's journal entry.
While in this day and age I have a veritable selection of mushroom-cloud shaped ways of dealing with my foes, it's sometimes pleasant to reminisce on the ways of old.
One of these very ways was brought to mind the other day when I...
Pulp absurdity at its finest.
Quite possibly the most awesome artwork ever:
So, ever since my Primary Arch-rival, Cod Commando, has taken his last swim up in my grill (that statement is far more literal than you think it is. Who knew that his weaknesses were panko, butter, a light dusting of garlic powder and a frying pan), I've not chosen a new nemesis to replace him. Perhaps it is time to do so.
Having a nemesis is important. It gives you drive -- something you yearn to destroy as well as inspiration to monologue about. Your experiments suddenly gain focus, most often due to limited weaknesses narrowing your possible vectors for attack. It gives you a...
In my never-ending search for weapons and intelligence to assist in my bids for world domination, I often come across cleverly-hidden blueprints and secrets encoded into anecdotes, stories, and Wall Street financial reports transmitted between military contracting companies, various government agencies, and rural compounds in Montana. Sometimes they are resounding successes once built or implemented, and sometimes they are dismal failures due to a variety of reasons: impossible-to-maintain budgets; incorrect transpositions in imperial-to-metric conversions; the fact that they are just...